About a month ago, I noted that every morning when I went out to feed my little dog, Buddy, the top to the metal garbage can I keep dog food in was tossed to the side.
After two to three days of this, I realized that something was taking the top off. In the weeks that followed, I discovered a coon was the culprit! A friend suggested I put a bungee cord on the can (top to bottom) .Wallyworld had none that size, so I used three short bungee cords, and struggled to get them as tight as possible, sure this would foil the coon's attempts.
WRONG! The bungees were undone, the top off, dog food level going down quickly. Oh, I was hot! I tried shooting at them with my BB gun, but that was wasted BB's. I even set three mousetraps and set them on top of the food. Next morning, they were sprung, the can's top tossed aside, dog food level getting lower and lower. 
The absolute last time (I thought) I heard noise out there after dark, I turned on the back porch lights and there they were! TWO coons, the can's top off, greedy bandits ready to feast! I flew out on that back porch and yelled unprintable names at them! (I'll swear, I think I heard them giggling as they scampered away). Well, that was the last straw. I couldn't lift the can of food, but I could drag that sucker, and I dragged it in to this house! 
Harrumph...........mumblegrumblegrumble..... 
I have spent a half day today, rearranging stuff (junk) in my tiny laundry room to make room for the dad-blasted can. I still can't believe they can undo bungee cords. I should get one for a pet, and train it to loosen bottles of stuff that no human can! But it would probably open all of the cabinets and the refrigerator, etc., at night and eat everything.....And so, thus ends another chapter in the adventures of living with the critters in these here parts. 
Epilogue: Their next caper was to chew up Buddy's food dish when they discovered their "dinner can" was gone......Their caper last night was to turn over the trash can and scatter trash all over the back porch and yard!%%##&%&&!!!!!!!
OK. NOW I HAVE MURDER ON MY MIND. Rat poison? Anti-freeze? Stay tuned for the next report From My Back Porch, on The Great Coon Caper.

June Lyne Robinson is a retired educator and government employee. Related to well-known Logan County and Kentucky officials such as Doc Beauchamp, Allie Mae Linton, Jim Linton and Jim Lyne, she is a former chair of the Logan County Democratic Executive Committee.